Boundaries as a gift

Are you setting clear boundaries as a leader? In a recent coaching session, a senior charity client noted they were struggling to set boundaries. We found a great insight that helped them feel much better about doing this…

My client was stuck between his board and his staff team, trying to fulfil each party’s expectations of him and ‘being a good CEO’, but both he and the whole organisation were struggling to nail down where one person’s responsibilities ended and another’s began.

We discussed how it is critical for leaders to set clear boundaries, as this is part of their role in setting clear expectations of themselves and others – whether this the teams they oversee or the trustees or directors they report to. Failure to set boundaries can lead to confusion, resentment, unrealistic expectations, stress and many other problems – for everyone.

It emerged that my client was worried about getting into confrontations with people if he set out a boundary for himself that they disagreed on. But I asked him to look at it in different way – perhaps rather than seeing this process of setting boundaries as confrontational, it is more like giving a gift to people or helping them?

In other words, we can see it as a way of bringing clarity and stability into an organisation or a team, making people feel reassured that they know the parameters of their role and the expectations of them. It really is a profound gift to give to others.

Seeing boundaries in this way (‘boundaries as a gift’) made the client feel much more confident about having setting, and negotiating, his boundaries with other people.